Seeing as its world mental health day I thought I would share my experience and struggles with my mental health.
I have depression, and GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). Living life day go day is rough. The simplest of tasks take a lot of effort. Making food for instance. Everyone needs food to survive. However, if I lived alone I would probably go several days with out even a crumb passing my lips.
My anxiety is the worst. generalized anxiety disorder means that I worry about EVERYTHING. I know people say this all the time but usually thats usually figuratively. Mine is literally and it doesnt always make sense. I worry about going to sleep and not waking up but equally, I worry about waking up and to what sweet hell the day will bring. I worry about getting hurt if I leave the house but, also worry about the house burning down and being trapped. And don’t even get me started if someone’s even a minute late. My lovely brain of mine will go through every single possible scenario. Have they been in a crash? Pulled over by the police? Rolled the car? Etc
Battling through this 24 hours 7 days a week a long with my other medical conditions means I can’t work. I would love nothing more than to be able to work a simple 9-5 minimum wage but unfortunately, its not possible.
I have been called “lazy” more than i care to mention. This is the most irritating, hurtful thing people bsay to me. I am not lazy! My job is to survive each day fighting with my own mind and unless youve been through it you’ll never understand just how exhausting it is.